Airport Security- Do you go for the Scope, or the Grope?

Some weekends, it is tough to find something to write about. This isn’t one of those weekends.

You could write about Charlie Rangel, or the fact that some folks on the left believe that there is a conspiracy going on at Dancing with the Stars because Bristol Palin is STILL THERE? Tensions are high and some angry person sent a letter to Bristol (care of Dancing with the Stars) filled with a white powder. It could have been anthrax, it could have been “the letter of DEATH.” But it was just talcum powder.

A person could write about Sen. Jay Rockefeller, who wants to shut down MSNBC and Fox News because he has a “bug inside of him.” Here at The Angry Republic, we used one of those new airport scanners to see what kind of “bug” is inside of Sen. Rockefeller. Here is what we found.

Hey, that looks like one of those STINK bugs that was taking over DC this fall. Boy, those little suckers really dug in..!!

(Ok, stupid- childish joke, I know. Let’s continue)

You could talk about the terrorist who was tried in civilian court and dam near got away free because key witnesses were tossed out by a judge. A person could write about the past election and what “it all means” for our political future.

However, all of the topics above seem to fall down the center of political ideologies. The conservative feels one way about the issue, and the liberal will take the opposite argument.

But one topic seems to draw everyone together, (for different reasons, naturally.)

New airport security- TSA’s scope or grope method

Check this out, it will display what I am saying. This comes from the liberal home of The Huffington Post. An editorial from William Astore- Professor and retired Lt. Colonel, Air Force. (Who, by the way, gave me the idea for my title.)

Colonel Astore said this in The Huffington Post:

“..Scoping grandma and groping granddad is not making us safer or more secure. It's worse than a crime: it's a mistake. They don't fit the profile of "terrorist" to begin with; nor should they be terrorized by government technology or its glove-clad workers.

Instead of all the gadgets and the groping, let's get real. Start by asking each ticket-holder the standard questions European airport officials ask; watch how people respond. Look for unusual behavior: nervousness, evasiveness, uncertainty. Forgo "random" inspections for targeted ones. And let's do it swiftly and with authority..”

OK, I like that. I really do. However, note what “wasn’t” said, for the benefit of the progressive / liberal Huffington Post readers. Astore didn’t point to how the Israeli’s preform airport security, instead he points to Europe. And Astore said: “..(Why frisk grandma and grandpa) They don't fit the profile of a "terrorist"..”

“Profile.”
(Aughh. There it is, for all to see.) The ugly word: Profile.

Though Astore is VERY careful not to mention the word “Racial” with the word “Profile”, anyone can surely denote the direction that Astore was taking.

In doing so; in carefully choosing his words, Colonel Astore has put one foot inside the door of a progressive paradise. (The Huffington Post) And the progressives are not going after him with pitchforks and torches. It seems that progressives do not care to be seen NAKED and groped, by airport security either.

I spent some time Friday and Saturday checking out the talking heads of radio. Progressives like Fedder, Shultz, and Alex Bennet; all seem to agree that these invasive security checks are wrong.

However, a quick check of Hannity, Rush, and Gibson shows that conservatives do not like these groin checks either.

This is my kind of topic because everyone seems to agree. (Which means that there is something REALLY really wrong here, because the left and right NEVER agree on anything.)

Conservatives blame President Obama for being scoped and groped during their Thanksgiving travel.

Liberals blame the TSA or Homeland Security, and never really bring it back to President Obama.

However, most agree that “this” isn’t the way to go in a free country.

I may surprise you, (maybe not) but I am in favor of the naked machines and the groin checks at airports; ONLY as a last resort. Colonel Astore is correct; there is no need to check everyone, or even do random checks. Only a select group of people need to be searched in this manner. Most people can simply be asked a series of questions. After all, this is how we caught the “millennium bomber.” He was asked questions and appeared to be very nervous. The border guard mentioned that he was “sweating in December”, so she flagged the car to be searched, and BINGO.

The Israeli’s begin security checks the minute people arrive at the airport. They pick people out of a crowd and begin to quiz them. They have been trained to spot nervous tension, and can pull these people aside for further inspection.

I’m not saying that the Israeli’s have the “cure-all” for our situation. After all, they only have to deal with a small percentage of people compared to the amount of people flying in America. However, if we combine the methods: questions for most, shoe checks and further questions for others, and naked machines and groping for some; this might solve the problem.

We just have to get the progressives past that word: “Profile.”

It really isn’t “racial” profiling because does this guy:

Look like this guy?:

Both people are terrorists.

So it has little to do with race and more to do with religion. Yes, it would be “religious profiling.”

Most of the terrorists have changed their names to fit the Muslim religion. Many are flying out of countries which harbor terrorists. We are not even checking the “no fly list” good enough because terrorists have slipped by, and the “Christmas Bomber’s” father called authorities to say his son was dangerous. We missed all of that, somehow?

So it seems like most people are on the same page with this issue, except...

What surprises me the most is how silent the 2006 liberals are on this topic of Obama’s “grope-a-thon” at US airports?

The “2006 liberals” is the name I have given to all the liberals who started at this blog site in 2006. At first, they were very pleasant, polite people who were pleading their political case. However, they began to get more aggressive as they became comfortable with this site.

“Bush lied” and “Bush is breaking the constitution with illegal wiretaps” was their mantra. Where are the 2006 liberals today? Why are they not complaining about Obama’s illegal searches at the airport? Since I have done nothing wrong, it would seem that having a TSA agent touch my “junk” might go against the constitution?

If one of the 2006 liberals were brave enough to answer my charge, they might say that President Obama is “trying to keep us safe with testicle checks at the airport, but Bush and Cheney were evil men who enjoyed listening to our phone calls.”

But, I assume that the 2006 liberals are smart enough to know that this street runs two ways: “Bush was trying to keep us safe by intercepting terrorist’s phone calls, but Obama gets his rocks off watching grandma’s groin being grabbed by a TSA agent.”

Speaking of groin checks, if you didn’t get to see the Saturday Night Live comedy bit on the TSA, you have got to see it. I have it at the top right hand corner of my “News Site”. Just click here for the video.

So, here we are. Both the conservative and the liberal hating the same thing. Savor this moment folks, because it is rare, indeed.

And if I know anything about Americans, it is this: We can take lemons and make lemonade. (And then place a bunch of booze in that lemonade, and party.)

Most airports have some kind of lounge or bar which serves booze. Usually, down the road from the airport is a strip club for traveling salesmen. And, of course, we have these new TSA airport naked scanner machines that can see through clothes.

Why combine all the above activities into one “fun filled” room of adult entertainment?

Picture this...
You are at the airport, waiting for your plane. A friendly TSA Agent asks you a bunch of questions, and you fail the test. YOU, for failing the test, become the entertainment at the airport lounge. Customers of the lounge, after paying a cover charge, get to watch as TSA Agents grope you and place you into the naked machine Your naked image is projected on a large flat-screen TV in the lounge.

Think about it, people would be seated in the lounge, viewing pictures of your naked body. Maybe we could make it 3D?



Guys would be treated to these kinds of pictures

And women, don’t feel left out, because you would get to see this

Ok, maybe this isn’t the best idea that I have come up with. I’m sorry. If I thought about it some more, I might have come up with something better. But the cat was chasing a bug on the floor, and I got distracted.
So, I hope that this editorial answered all of your questions about being naked, booze, and airport security.

Thanks for reading The Angry Republic

AR Babonie