It is time again for our annual “Naughty or Nice” Christmas list. (That is, of course, total BS. We have never done a naughty or nice list, ever. But it just sounds better if we act like it is a long standing tradition.)
As we have done for many, many years in the past (again, a boat load of crap) it is time to countdown the famous people who have done something this year, which has landed these folks into the news. Then, by using our wisdom and experience (more BS), we will tell you if this person (or thing) has been naughty, or nice, or indifferent. (Indifferent- neither nice, or naughty, just breathing and taking up space.)
Ok, let’s get started...
Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, and Megan Fox have all been very naughty this year.
Actually, I have no proof that any of these three women have been naughty this year. But for some reason, when I think about these women “being naughty”, it just makes me feel better. (Don’t try and figure it out, it has something to do with testosterone, I do not even understand it.)
Next up- Julian Assange
For convenience and to ease your reading experience, from this point forward, we will refer to Julian Assange as: J-Ass.
Has J-Ass been Naughty, Nice, or Indifferent?
J-Ass has been- indifferent (definitely NOT nice, closer to naughty, however J-Ass is indifferent because he is basically a blob of human flesh that is taking up space.
If J-Ass were an American, we could claim that he was being unpatriotic, or even (maybe) committing treason. But he is not an American. If we can prove that J-Ass talked a US soldier into removing secret US documents, then J-Ass is in big trouble. But that might be hard to prove. If J-Ass were leaking stories that prove that global warming is a hoax, we would be patting J-Ass on the back. If J-Ass published stories about the inter workings of the Iranian government, we would want to shake J-Ass’s hand.
However, unfortunately for us, J-Ass has made America his newest target. We were not always J-Ass’s prime meal ticket. From 2006, (when Wikileaks started) until last year, two of Wikileaks prime targets were China and corrupt governments in Africa.
The REAL villains in this Wikileaks mess are..??
Villain 1
22 year old Army Intelligence Expert Bradley Manning. As of writing this, Manning is accused of stealing hundreds of thousands of documents from US military and State Dept computers, and turning this information over to Wikileaks. If found guilty, Manning should spend a long time in a military prison. (Maybe Gitmo..??) Very Naughty.
Villain 2
Whomever is in charge of security for military and State Dept computers and files. How a 22 year old soldier could walk away with thousands of secret US files is insane? Very- very naughty..!!
Villain 3
Michael Moore and others who are running to J-Ass’s defense. Remember, J-Ass is accused of (sort of) raping TWO women.” Yes, everyone consented to the sex, however the women wanted J-Ass to wear a condom. J-Ass said he put on a condom, but he didn’t, and completed the act. Is that rape, rape? Or “sort of” rape? Who the hell knows?
One woman, who is being called “Miss A”, claims that sex with Assange was “the worst sex ever.” LINK.
This is bad news for us men. If women are able to charge us men, in a court of law, with “bad sex”, it’s all over for us. However, I digress, this is no laughing matter.
J-Ass is currently running away from the law. Assange is accused of raping two women. J-Ass is NOT a “poster-boy” for justice and “fair play” in the world. Until J-Ass appears in court to face these rape charges, J-Ass is a criminal, and Michael Moore should not be running to his aid.
(Which brings us back to...)
Villain 4
Julian Assange (J-Ass)- He is not a villain for printing the US secret documents. Yes, he could have been “nice” and refused to print them. But printing these documents doesn’t make him “naughty”, it just makes him one of the thousands of people who are trying to get (richer) quicker. However, Assange is naughty for running away from his rape charges.
Next up...
Naughty, Nice, or Indifferent.
American politicians
“Don’t ask, don’t tell” about the “Bush tax cuts”, unemployment extensions, earmarks- O- plenty in the omnibus bill, the DREAM Act, and everything else that politicians have been fighting about this fall has lead us to the conclusion that politicians are- Indifferent this year. “Same as it ever was” would be the best way to describe politics.
Whether you are a democrat or a republican (and all points beyond), there is something in this latest group of “Christmas Time” government bills that will make you happy...
And there is stuff in these bills that will piss you off.
Liberals are pissed that rich people got their tax breaks extended, and they are angry that the DREAM Act was shot down. They blame republicans for this, however 5 democrats voted against the Dream Act (or were no-votes) which is why it failed to receive the votes LINK. Liberals are happy that unemployment is being extended and “don’t ask, don’t tell” will be repealed.
Conservatives are angry over (the stuff listed above) and that the Bush tax cuts were not made permanent, but conservatives are happy that we are not raising taxes on small business owners in this economy, the “death tax” might not be increased, and the HUGE Omnibus 2011 budget bill, chuck full of 6,000 earmarks, got turned down. (For now.)
Yes, congress has given everyone a reason to smile, and a reason to give the government the middle finger.
Next...
Naughty, Nice, or Indifferent
Fox News’ Megyn Kelly has been very naughty this year.
OK, so I just recycled that same joke from the beginning of this editorial, big deal? I am trying to be “GREEN” and save the earth by recycling old jokes instead of wasting computer space and electricity on creating new jokes. So shoot me.
Naughty, Nice, or Indifferent
Larry King
Aaaah come on, this is easy. For being in the media longer than most of us have been alive. Surviving 25 years at CNN (no easy task). And for being himself, which is like no one else on TV, Larry King has been “Nice” and he will be missed. (Especially, considering what CNN has lined up to replace him.)
Next up...
Naughty, nice, or indifferent.
Hurricanes
This year was supposed to be a killer hurricane season. Remember back at mid-summer, forecasters were predicting HUGE- stronger hurricanes this year. Scientists and global warming people told us that we were going to be hit with many, many hurricanes, and guess what...
(Pssst) Na-da..!!
This is a tough one for us (at The Angry Republic) to call because it depends on your perspective. If you live along the American coastline, hurricane season was very “nice” this year. However, if you are Al Gore and his man-made global warming minions, you are depressed because this year was supposed to knock your socks off with strong hurricanes, but that didn’t happen.
Hurricane season 2010- Nice
Global Warming people- Naughty (for scaring people into thinking that huge hurricanes were coming. Then sitting back with your fingers crossed, looking for these killer storms. All, so you could say- “I told you so.”) Very naughty.
Next up...
Naughty, Nice, or Indifferent
President Obama has been VERY naughty this year.
OK, so you are a dog lover. BIG DEAL.
That is no reason to hit that poor cat IN THE FACE with a snowball.
Very, very naughty Mr. President.
Next up...
Naughty, Nice, or Indifferent
A group of Arabs, bankrolled by Saudi King Abdullah, are trying to move the Ground Zero Mosque to a site that is a mile away from ground zero. This new site is located at an abandoned hospital. Plans call for most of the hospital to be reopened with the Mosque located in a side building. LINK
If this holds true, I believe this would be a great gesture by Muslims in showing that they care for our feelings and want to work with us. We need more acts of understanding on both sides.
Yes, we have had problems with Saudi Arabia, (not to mention that most of the 9/11 terrorists were Saudi), however this act by the Saudi King is very nice.
Next up...
Naughty, Nice, or Indifferent
100 Santas playing “Roll out the barrel” on accordions...
VERY NAUGHTY..!!
Ok, now it is your turn. If know of anyone who has been nice, naughty, or just a blob of flesh, taking up space; let us know in the comment section.
Merry Christmas from AR Babonie- LINK
