I had a little extra time this weekend to check up on my friends- The Democrats.
I noticed that all of our democratic bloggers, here at WordPress, are afraid to speak out against this president.
I found this very odd..??
Our democratic friends were very vocal during President Bush’s two terms. They spoke their minds on ALL topics. Why would they go silent now..??
To be fair, liberals are not completely silent. They are still speaking out about Bush, Fox News, and Glenn Beck. (Oh, and if Joe Z is using a fake name on Blogster.) Important stuff like that.
But when it comes to stuff that REALLY matters; (health care, investigations into torture, Gay rights, Gitmo, JOBS, the shrinking dollar, etc) Liberals become VERY quiet.
Strangely quiet.
That is very odd..??
The reason I find it odd is because we conservatives had no problem speaking out against President Bush when he refused to tighten up the border with Mexico, or when Bush wanted to grant amnesty to illegals, or when Bush spent too much money on pork; we spoke out about this. You can check our past blogs for proof.
But liberals, who were VERY vocal in the past, are silent today.
Why..??
Just then, the answer came to me...
Look at this picture.
When you look at that picture, what happens..??
Do words come to your head, but your mouth becomes like Jell-O, and you cannot speak? Look at that picture again. Do your fingers turn to rubber, and you cannot type?
When you listen to President Obama speak, there are things that you want to say, but you cannot. You try, but you can not vocalize?
You know that when Barack Obama pauses during a speech, you are supposed to clap your hands together and make some kind of cheering noise, like: "Aahhh Yeaaa"
You are able to clap and chant, but that is all that you can muster.
Well, I have the answer.
You are hypnotized.
What else can it be..??
As I said, I am here to help you democrats.
Take a look at this teaching tool I have prepared, just for you.
(See what I did with this teaching tool. It says: "President Barack Obama", but it is actually a picture of Bush. Clever, no..??)
This teaching tool is called: Reverse Osmosis La Oucho.
(OK, look at the picture again and repeat after me)
Mister President, it has been 8 months. Why have you not ended the "Don’t ask, don’t tell" policy in the military..??
(Look at the picture again, if it helps. OK, Lets continue.)
Mister President, when Bush didn’t like spending federal money on embryonic stem cells, BUSH JUST STOPPED IT.
Mister President; end "don’t ask, don’t tell NOW. The Gay community is asking for it. Do it now.
OK, I know that took a lot out of you, but time is running out and we MUST continue.
Take a look at this teaching tool, it will break the spell that is on you.
(Whhooa, you better look at that picture again, because this next one is a tough one.)
(OK, Ready? Repeat after me.)
Mister President, the current health plan that Reid and Schumer are pushing in the Senate allows States to "opt out" of the "single payer" part of the plan. WHAT GOOD IS THAT..?? What the hell are you guys smoking..??
Mister President, AR Babonie of The Angry Republic LIKES this new plan, so it CAN’T be good for us democrats. (I just added that in there, you don’t have to use it when actually speaking to President Obama.)
Mister President, this plan KEEPS things the way they are. With insurance companies holding all the cards, in most states. Mister President, this is no health insurance reform. This is politics as usual.
OK, let’s take a little break here, because I cannot pull you out of Hypnosis too fast. You will get gout. (Or something?)
We MUST help you to get back that vocal instinct that you once had. In the past, you spoke out about war, human rights, Gitmo, Gay rights, the constitution...
You spoke out about everything. (When a republican was in the White House.)
We MUST get you back; to being you.
OK, lets get back to your treatment.
Look at this picture VERY carefully.
(Now, repeat after me)
Mister President, Gitmo is still open. Where are the NEW prisoners of Afghanistan going? Are they safe? Are we staying in Afghanistan, or are we leaving? If we are leaving, why are men still dying? If we are staying in Afghanistan, then we MUST send them help NOW. Why are we waiting..??
Mister President, you promised investigations into torture at Gitmo. Its been 8 months and I see no REAL investigation taking place.
Mister President, you promised "No new taxes on people making less than $250,000 per year," yet cigarette taxes went up, soda pop could see a new tax. You might tax existing health plans, and the "Cap and Trade" tax will raise prices on utilities. Mister President, did you lie to us..??
OK, we MUST stop here.
If I pull you out of Hypnosis too fast, you will get gonorrhea. (Or something?)
However, some of you maybe cured, already.
Test yourself, by looking at this picture below, and repeating any of the "Mister President" statements above.
If you can look at that picture and repeat any, or all of the "Mister President" statements above, congratulations..!! You are cured. Now, go forth and speak out about the things that you believe in.
However, if you look at this picture...
And you mouth turns to Jell-O, and your fingers turn to rubber, you need more help and you must NOT give up..!!
Remember...
There are only THREE reasons why liberals will not speak out against this president
(One) They are hypnotized. ("Hope for Change" type stuff.)
(Two) Liberals are actually conservative, deep down inside, but do not want to admit it.
(Three) Liberals are democratic HACKS who will NEVER speak out about a fellow democrat, no matter how much they piss on you.
Now, I cannot believe that ALL liberals are hacks. And I really don’t believe that liberals are actually conservative. (You would have to be GREAT actors, all these years.)
So, you MUST be hypnotized.
If this exercise did NOT work for you. DON’T GIVE UP.
I want you to re-read this whole post, take 2 aspirins, and call me in the morning.
Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republic
