Everything is fixed

It was about this time last year, that we were all blogging like crazy.

We had a mission...



Our mission:

To keep those bastards: The ________ Party out of the White House. (You can insert the political party in which you currently hate right now, into the BLANK space I have provided.)

I too, was busy like a bee. Building a demented beehive where we MUST destroy the “other guys.”

Today, things have all changed. We can relax.

The Democrats are fixing all of the messes that the Republicans left behind.

Sure, Barney Frank is pissed off at President Obama’s current wording in a bill concerning marriage.

(But hey, when ISN’T Barney Frank pissed off..??)

And Bill Maher isn’t too happy with President Obama either. Bill wishes that Obama was MORE like President Bush. (Aaahh, that would be the GOOD side of Bush. Not that EVIL side of Bush that we conservatives seemed to like.)

But all and all, things are running smooth.

Iran is on the verge of revolution.

North Korea is firing off a missile almost every day and are promising to marry their missile with a nuclear warhead.

The economy is fixed up real good. (NOTE) The masses of unemployed people should look into becoming Gay and hooking up with a Gay government worker, so they can utilize President Obama’s new benefits for Gay Associate Government Active Workers. (Or: G.A. G.A.W., as they like to be called.)

With the Democrats and President Obama fixing all of this stuff, it has left me with more time to reflect on my own life. Today, I ponder BIGGER questions.
Much bigger questions than politics.

Questions like:

Why is it so freaking cold in June, in Pennsylvania..??

Come on...

I still have a redneck suntan in June.

(Note) No offence to any rednecks reading this. (Like rednecks can read.)

(Also note) A redneck tan is when only your arms and face are tan, BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN TOO FREAKING COLD TO GET A TAN ELSEWHERE.

Then it dawns on me...

The Democrats have fixed global warming too.

Barack Obama has only been in the White House for 6 months, and somehow he managed to fix global warming..??

(If you asked me, he fixed it TOO GOOD.) I wouldn’t mind a little sunshine, now and then.



With Global Warming fixed, Al Gore is now free to invest in a new car company, instead of spending all his time saving you, from yourself.

Would that be an electric car company that Al Gore is investing in..??

No.

Would that be some kind of fuel cell or hybrid car..??

No.

Al Gore is sinking tons of cash in a car company that makes gasoline powered cars.

To Gore’s credit, this car (which has no name or any details at this point) is said to get 65 mpg.

http://www.dailyfinance.com/2009/06/17/in-midst-of-auto-crisis-al-gore-backs-a-new-car-company-in-loui/

A small metal box with wheels, doors, and a motorcycle motor.

A car that could fit into the back of my truck.

Which leads me to another question I have been pondering...

“What will be the classic cars of the future..??”

It cannot be these little tin boxes that the current government has planned for you and I.



I was thinking of this while watching Clint Eastwood’s movie “Gran Torino.”

Who would ever take one of these egg shaped boxes on wheels and call them “classic”..??

Try and tell Americans that they can’t have something..??

Tell Gay Americans that they cannot get married...

Tell Black Americans that they cannot become president...

Tell inventive Americans that they have to drive these little metal boxes...

Not going to happen..!!

Just like in the 1950's and 60's; I can see guys raiding junk yards and building “hot rods.”

They will take an old frame from here; mount a rebuilt Ford 350 “gas guzzling” motor on it, and place fiberglass replica bodies on top.

I can imagine some really wild rides buzzing by all these little metal “eggs on wheels” that Obama wants us to drive.

But I digress; that is the future.

Today...

I no longer have to worry about little things like America, the economy, polar bears, and War.

The democrats have fixed this stuff.

Today, I can continplate the big issues, like:

Was David Letterman really sincere in his apology..??

(That would be the second apology, not the first apology that was more of a joke about the joke that he wanted to apologize about...)