Counseling for the terrorists.. I think this is a GREAT idea. Therapy for the little killers, yes, this will fix everything. One problem, we can't send conservatives, they are too mean. They might yell at the killers. We can't trust the military. We will have to send liberals down to the Gitmo prison camp. I think this is such a great idea, I am raising a fund so liberals do not have to spend any of their own money. I am calling it: "The slow boat to Gitmo-fund." (The reason it will be a slow boat is a slow boat uses less gas, better for the environment.) Plus it's cheaper than a fast boat!!! And, the liberals can learn the art of counseling while on "the slow boat to Gitmo." I figure the cost to be around $100,000. This will be completely paid for by the Fund. I will start out the donations..
Angry Republican……… Buck-o-five
Dr. Needlelick…………..$50.00
Total……………………..$51.05
Goal…………..……$100,000.00
SLOW BOAT TO GITMO----Application form…………
Liberals Name________________________________-
Circle the answer that applies to the following questions..
I have been a liberal for…
1. 15 minutes
2. I don't know, not sure I should answer, need to ask someone
3. All my life…I "heart" whales..
The type of terrorist I would like to counsel……
1. One who has blow up less then 15 people
2. One who eats with silverware, (I hate when they eat with their hands)
3. Give me the meanest, ugliest bastard you can find
What type of food do you prefer on the cruise….
1. No meat.. "That would be gross."
2. Nuts and berries
3. Ben and Jerry's
Slow Boat- Cruise Schedule….
6am.. Up for a breakfast of nuts and berries
8am.. Counseling classes: Confidence building-101… "I am a good little terrorist."
10am.. Finger foods and Tofu.. Free time
1pm.. Counseling classes: Grief Coping-201… "Am I a good terrorist? I couldn't blow up the Americans. Will Allah still want me?"
5pm.. Buffet style meal and ice carving.
Any liberals who want to GET ON BOARD "The slow boat to Gitmo", just print out the application form, fill it out and we will tell you where to stick it….AR…
One day at the Gulag-Gitmo
6am- All the poor killer terrorists are woke up.
6:15am- The evil American guards force the innocent killers to eat breakfast. They must eat a meal that has an idem from each of the food groups. Except if the poor terrorist is fasting for some religious reason. ( which could be any week of the year). This poor terrorist is then tortured with nuts and fresh fruit.
7am- The first of five Islamic Prayer services is held over the loud speakers. It is preformed by one of the poor terrorists. All the while, the disgusting American guards sit back and stay out of the way.
8am- All the poor terrorists are forced by the evil American guards to go out in the hot sun for morning yard time. Unless they would prefer to go back to bed, or spend time in the weight room. One innocent terrorist asks if he could be alone to meditate. The brutally evil American guard says, “OK”.
9am- One vindictive-evil American guard goes from cell to cell, making sure that no Koran''s are placed too close to water.
11am- the poor terrorists are FORCED to go to the library, unless they do not want to go, in which case they can go back to the cell and sleep.
Noon- The innocent killers are forced by the evil Americans to have lunch. This slop consists of chicken salad or a turkey sandwich, a rice pilaf and a salad. Unless they are fasting for some religious reason, (which could be any hour of any day.)
1pm- the poor terrorist are taken by the evil American guards to meet with the ACLU. The innocent, poor terrorist inform the God-Like ACLU that they have no money to get back home to Hamas or Al-kihta. They tell the ACLU that because of the war on terrorism, funds are limited. “How will we get back to the terrorist organizations.” The All Mighty ACLU tells the poor killers not to worry, “The American Government will supply you with enough money so you can return to your terrorist organizations.” The terrorists and the ACLU give an affectionate kiss on the cheek and exchange a pleasant “Mohammed Jihad- Death to America”
3pm- The poor terrorist are FORCED to go back outside, unless they would rather stay inside.
5pm- The poor terrorists are rounded up by the evil American guards and forced to have super. This consists of sliced turkey or a piece of chicken, rice pilaf and fresh fruit. All prisoners MUST eat, unless they do not want to.
6pm- The poor terrorists are forced to watch propaganda films like “The wizard of Oz” and “Batman Returns”. Each prisoner MUST watch this propaganda, unless they don’t want to.
8pm- One lucky terrorist is released. He is given enough money and a plane ride back to his country. If he is lucky, this terrorist will be excepted back into the terrorist organizations. If they do not cut his head off for being captured, he will be suited up with an outfit made of explosives. And if he is lucky, Mohammed willing, he may have a chance to blow himself up. And if he is very lucky, while his guts are flying high, he may even take out some of the infidels. But do not worry about this poor little terrorist. Waiting for him on the other side is 71 virgins. (I know it is 72 virgins, but it has changed, now it is 71 virgins and one experienced woman to do the cooking and cleaning.)
10pm- Back at the Gulag.. It is lights out. All the little terrorist MUST go to sleep, unless they don''t want to. As the tired little terrorists lay their heads on the pillows, a faint; "Mohammed Jihad" can be heard in the bunk area. An evil American guard bellows; "Pipe down and go to sleep"
And so...Another brutal day ends at the Gulag........AR.....
6:15am- The evil American guards force the innocent killers to eat breakfast. They must eat a meal that has an idem from each of the food groups. Except if the poor terrorist is fasting for some religious reason. ( which could be any week of the year). This poor terrorist is then tortured with nuts and fresh fruit.
7am- The first of five Islamic Prayer services is held over the loud speakers. It is preformed by one of the poor terrorists. All the while, the disgusting American guards sit back and stay out of the way.
8am- All the poor terrorists are forced by the evil American guards to go out in the hot sun for morning yard time. Unless they would prefer to go back to bed, or spend time in the weight room. One innocent terrorist asks if he could be alone to meditate. The brutally evil American guard says, “OK”.
9am- One vindictive-evil American guard goes from cell to cell, making sure that no Koran''s are placed too close to water.
11am- the poor terrorists are FORCED to go to the library, unless they do not want to go, in which case they can go back to the cell and sleep.
Noon- The innocent killers are forced by the evil Americans to have lunch. This slop consists of chicken salad or a turkey sandwich, a rice pilaf and a salad. Unless they are fasting for some religious reason, (which could be any hour of any day.)
1pm- the poor terrorist are taken by the evil American guards to meet with the ACLU. The innocent, poor terrorist inform the God-Like ACLU that they have no money to get back home to Hamas or Al-kihta. They tell the ACLU that because of the war on terrorism, funds are limited. “How will we get back to the terrorist organizations.” The All Mighty ACLU tells the poor killers not to worry, “The American Government will supply you with enough money so you can return to your terrorist organizations.” The terrorists and the ACLU give an affectionate kiss on the cheek and exchange a pleasant “Mohammed Jihad- Death to America”
3pm- The poor terrorist are FORCED to go back outside, unless they would rather stay inside.
5pm- The poor terrorists are rounded up by the evil American guards and forced to have super. This consists of sliced turkey or a piece of chicken, rice pilaf and fresh fruit. All prisoners MUST eat, unless they do not want to.
6pm- The poor terrorists are forced to watch propaganda films like “The wizard of Oz” and “Batman Returns”. Each prisoner MUST watch this propaganda, unless they don’t want to.
8pm- One lucky terrorist is released. He is given enough money and a plane ride back to his country. If he is lucky, this terrorist will be excepted back into the terrorist organizations. If they do not cut his head off for being captured, he will be suited up with an outfit made of explosives. And if he is lucky, Mohammed willing, he may have a chance to blow himself up. And if he is very lucky, while his guts are flying high, he may even take out some of the infidels. But do not worry about this poor little terrorist. Waiting for him on the other side is 71 virgins. (I know it is 72 virgins, but it has changed, now it is 71 virgins and one experienced woman to do the cooking and cleaning.)
10pm- Back at the Gulag.. It is lights out. All the little terrorist MUST go to sleep, unless they don''t want to. As the tired little terrorists lay their heads on the pillows, a faint; "Mohammed Jihad" can be heard in the bunk area. An evil American guard bellows; "Pipe down and go to sleep"
And so...Another brutal day ends at the Gulag........AR.....
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