There are many dangers out there that people MUST beware of:
The new “Super bug”: this new flu virus is completely unaffected by antibiotics and could kill you dead, or worst yet; the super bug could make your face fall off.
We still need to worry about the “pig flu”; which was going to kill us all last year. (Second time’s a charm, you know..!!)
Least we forget about the “bird flu” and the “mad cows.” These two dangers are lurking around the corner, waiting for you to slip up and eat a cow, or spend too much time touching your bird.
But there is one danger that no one is talking about. An “extremely” dangerous danger that we all MUST be terrified of. Not only could this danger kill you dead, AND make your face fall off; this danger could also wipe out your entire savings.
Of course, we are talking about 10/10/10
October 10th, 2010
Ask any computer programmer and they will tell you that computers talk to each other with a series of “1's” and “0's”. How the zeros and ones are placed in order tells a computer what to do. Unfortunately for humanity, the combination in 10/10/10 is very deadly.
On October 9th, 2010 at 11:59 pm, you will still be alive. You will be sitting in your underwear, with your face in a bag of Cheese Puffs, while surfing the Interwebs, and everything will be fine...
However, when the clock switches to midnight and your computer switches the date to 10/10/10, you will be launched into a nightmarish hell.
The first thing that will happen is your computer will pop a gasket, then blow a sprocket. Your computer will begin to delete all important files, (which would include that video of Becky riding a mechanical bull, and a copy of one of Holly’s posts that you were saving for a “special moment.”) Then your computer will detonate a small thermo-nuclear device (which is contained inside your computer) and piping hot pieces of plastic will fly through the air killing everything and melting your face off.
(For YEARS, we have asked computer manufactures to STOP placing small thermo-nuclear devices inside our computers, but they wouldn’t listen to us. Greedy basterds. Now look at what we are faced with. We could lose our faces from HOT flying plastic.)
The ancient Mayans KNEW about the dangers of 10/10/10. The Mayans knew that you would be sitting in your underwear on 10/10/10, and the Mayans knew about the Cheese Puffs, and the Mayans knew that your computer would pop a gasket and kill you dead.
However, the Mayans knew how much panic would ensue if we knew our fait, so the Mayans changed their “end of the world” date to: 12/21/12. (The Mayans did this to keep us stupid and unaware of our impending doom.)
The only creatures who will survive this 10/10/10 tragedy will be:
Cockroaches (because, for some reason, cockroaches survive EVERYTHING.)
The Amish, (the Amish will survive because they shun technology and only use computers for viewing pornography, then they put the computers away in a lead-lined box).
Other survivors will include those people who happened to be far, far away from modern technology; (people on a camping trip, kids in an American High School, etc.)
Also, Glenn Beck may survive, being that he spends his evenings praying in his bomb bunker, surrounded by stacks of gold.
Folks, this is urgent..!!
Our current administration doesn’t seem concerned about 10/10/10.
President Obama and the democrats in congress are too busy planning another “stimulus” bill, to care about the end of the world and 10/10/10.
Another stimulus..?? (Because the first stimulus worked out so good..??)
Democrats believe that they should take tax money from us poor people and give it to LARGE companies, to “stimulate” jobs.
Republicans believe that YOU should KEEP more of your money and give LARGE companies a tax break, to “stimulate” jobs.
Hmmm, which seems like a better idea?
The government takes our hard earned money and gives it to rich companies? Or letting us keep MORE of our hard earned money and giving tax breaks to rich companies?
Democrats also seem VERY concerned about the environment, to worry about 10/10/10.
Liberals are now strapping bombs to their backsides and storming into The Discovery Channel demanding that humans stop having sex. (Because SEX creates those stupid little “parasitic babies.”)
OK, I know that democrats want to control everything in our lives. They want to control the size of cars that we drive, they want to raise the cost of electricity through the “cap and trade” bill so we cannot afford to use much electricity, AND NOW THEY WANT TO STOP US FROM HAVING SEX? Or they will blow up The Discovery Channel..??
Guys...
My friends on the left...
You may want to rethink this “no sex to save the planet” idea that you have because I believe that it is doomed to fail.
You are going to give me a choice between “no sex” or “No Discovery Channel” because you will blow the Discovery Channel up.
Which do you think I will choose..??
(Hey, come on, Myth Busters is the dope..!!)
Yes, clearly this current administration is doing nothing to stop 10/10/10.
Here at The Angry Republic, we have decided to take the first step in helping you save yourself and your family, from 10/10/10.
The method for solving problems that we have decided to use is currently being used in American high schools. IE- If kids are being harassed by bullies, do you punish the bullies? HELL NO. You sit the entire class down and teach them about homosexuality, (because if everyone understands homosexuality, kids will no longer bully other kids.) A special “sorry” goes out to over-weight kids, kids with glasses, and ugly kids. You will still get picked on in school because your group doesn’t have the voting block that democrats need.
Also, if kids in school are not doing well with their grades and have trouble focusing on their studies; do we pull these kids out of class and find out what is bothering each child? HELL NO, there is no time for that. We gather the whole class together and teach them about homosexuality.
If a hurricane is bearing down on a crowded school, do we evacuate the children to safety? Yes, but first we assemble the children into the auditorium to lecture them about homosexuality, (so that the big kids do not push the homosexuals down to the ground, as they are running for their lives.)
So, if this method works so well for our school system, why not use it here?
To save yourself from 10/10/10, and save you from an exploding computer that will send molted hot plastic to melt your face off and kill you dead, you MUST learn about homosexuality.
The world is full of different people. Different people who are all the same.
We are different, but we are the same.
Sure, we all have teeth and fingers and feet and three testicles. But we are also different, too.
When you look around your neighborhood you will see people delivering the mail, people delivering milk, people picking up garbage. You might see a couple dozen lawyers near your house, and that guy who sells the Shamwow. You will see all kinds of people in your neighborhood. Most of these people are homosexuals.
What are homosexuals..?? (Basic sex, 101)
Men have what is called: a penis.
Women have: a Va-Jay-Jay. (Definition) Slag for a vagina; or, an original member of the Osmond Family Band: On guitar and vocal: Va-Jay-Jay. (He was the tall one who stood to the left of Donny.)
As with life, most people are looking for what they do not have.
Men, who have a penis, are generally NOT looking for another penis, because they already have one. Most men are looking for a Va-Jay-Jay. (And, hopefully, they will also like the woman that is attached to that Va-Jay-Jay.)
However, from time to time, a person will look down at their “stuff” and say: “I have found what I am looking for, no need to look any further”, and they never learn to use, or appreciate the opposite equipment.
How do people become homosexuals?
We used to think that a male might become homosexual if they listened to show tunes, (like South Pacific and Grease). Also, if the boy’s Mother forced the child to do humiliating things that might degrade the young man’s masculinity.
Today, we no longer feel this way. Children are probably BORN homosexual. Maybe they have a different genetic make-up, or had a different experience in the womb. (Males who had a bad experience in the womb, might reject the womb. Women who had a GREAT experience in the womb would become lesbian and return to a womb.) I, myself, prefer a “womb with a view.”
(Wow, that was a long way to go for that stupid joke.)
Now that we understand homosexuality, we should be better prepared for the end of the world, our faces being removed by piping hot plastic, and 10/10/10.
However, just understanding homosexuality might not be enough to survive 10/10/10. It might help to study how the some creatures might survive 10/10/10.
Cockroaches- They crawl on their bellies and NEVER use computers.
Glenn Beck- sleeps in a cement bunker, praying, with stacks of gold surrounding him.
The Amish- They shun technology, mostly spend their days farming and having sex.
The way I figure it, we can survive 10/10/10 if we crawl on our bellies, sleep in a cement bunker while using gold for a pillow, and grow vegetables while having sex; we will all be here for 10/11/10.
(Oh crap...)
10/11/10
That’s more computer code.
I have to go find out what that...
Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republic
They say you can tell a lot about a man by how hard they play.
For thousands of years, men have chiseled out an adventurous look, bordering on dangerous.
From the two photos below, which man present an adventurous look?
And which man looks like a puss...
Well, which one looks like a girlie..
Aaahh, OK, which one doesn’t look very “manly”?
