The Generic Republican made me do it!

Try as you might, you cannot escape the fact that another presidential election is coming.

You could attempt to do what I tried to do: take 6 months and tune out of politics by spending your time weaving baskets and raising lamas. BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE- forever. Sooner or later a person will drag you back into politics. It could be a Postman, or a Milkman, or the Cheeseman, dropping off a big slab of free government cheese; someone will pop by your house and ask: “Hey, who do you think will win the 2012 election?” With that one question, you will be sucked right back into politics like a moth to a flame. A moth, by the way, who flies too close to the flame, singes his wings, and lands helplessly on the floor, only to become an improvised “cat toy” for some pussy. (Ok, maybe that was a little too dramatic. But you get the picture.)



Every Democrat MUST ask themselves if they feel that President Obama has made things better? Yes, the popular thing to do is blame Bush for everything. However, even the dumbest of the dumb will have to admit: If President Obama cannot stabilize this country in 4 years, what good would it do to give him 4 MORE years? If you are a democrat, and you have decided that President Obama isn’t fixing things, be prepared! You will be called a racist. (Unless you are a Black person; in which case, you will be called an Uncle Tom.)



Republicans do not have it easy, either. We must try and pick which person, out of the current collection of idiots, will cause the least amount of damage to the country.



I have come to the conclusion that the best person conservatives could run in the 2012 election is…

The Generic Republican.



Now, I know you are probably thinking that maybe I have taken too many painkillers, but hear me out. To date, the Generic Republican has said nothing, or done anything; to piss people off. The Tea Party seems to like the Generic Republican. Moderates MUST be voting for the Generic Republican, and even the Left has not attacked the Generic Republican like they went after Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney. The Generic Republican BEATS President Obama in every poll taken, (even liberal polls,) so this is clearly the best route.



With President Obama being such a GREAT campaigner, the Generic Republican will not be able to stand there, quietly; forever. (Though, that might be the BEST way to go.) Eventually, this dark silhouette will have to say something. I have thought long and hard about this, and I think I have found an answer. Instead of paying 100 million bucks for attack ads, why don’t we give that 100 million to Morgan Freeman to be the voice of the Generic Republican?



Maybe we could get Sam Elliott to voice the GR.



Or how about the guy who was the voice of Dark Vader in Star Wars: James Earl Jones? Could you picture James Earl Jones saying: “Obama- Obama, who’s your daddy?” (Ok, maybe we shouldn’t have him say that, but it would be cool.)





Let’s examine where we are right now…

Our shadow figure, (with no distinguishing features,) who has the voice of Morgan Freeman, Sam Elliott, or James Earl Jones, who already BEATS President Obama in every poll taken (and he hasn’t said anything yet to piss people off); without a doubt, our Generic Republican has the BEST shot of winning the 2012 election.



Yes, there are some legal questions that must be answered. First, and foremost: Can a generic human, (with no face) EVEN run for president? This is a great question and it is true, in history; we have never had a “faceless” president. But that doesn’t mean that it is impossible. Consider this: in several State elections, a very popular person has died before the election. Even though this person is dead, people wrote in the dead person’s name on the ballot (or, in some cases the dead person’s name was already on the ballot.) And a DEAD person has won the election. So if a DEAD person can win an election, why can’t a faceless shadow person also win?



There is one constitutional rule that could stand in our way: a presidential candidate MUST be 35 years old, and must show his Birth Certificate. (Oh..Wait.. What the hell am I talking about? I guess you DO NOT have to show your Birth Certificate UNLESS Donald Trump asks to see it.) And, since The Donald is on our side, we should have no problems here. However, with a little touch-up on photo shop, and we should be good to go.



With all these hurtles crossed, that leaves just one problem: When we win the election, who will actually RUN the country? Let’s face it; having a Generic Human run for office was a trip and tons of fun. But we cannot have a faceless shadow person actually lead our great nation? (Though, again; that might be the BEST way to go.)

No, we will actually need a regular human, (who has a face) to run the country.

But WHO should it be?



How about all of them?

There are things I like about Ron Paul, but I do not like all of his ideals. Mitt Romney might be able to help with the economy. Newt could focus on the size of government. There is something I like about each one of these people. Yet, by themselves, they are “so-so.” However, together…

We will have the FIRST- “Collective President.”

Let’s face it; many on the Left claimed that it was Dick Cheney and BIG business that pulled President Bush’s strings. Also, there are those on the right who claim that George Soros and the SEIU are the puppet masters of President Obama.

We will be the FIRST to admit that one man, one woman, doesn’t fill the presidency. We will have the first “collective president.” (Plus, we would have the first female president, along with the first Mormon, second Black, and if we tossed in Jeb Bush; we would have the third “Bush family” president.

YES, the “collective” faceless Generic Republican is clearly the way to go in 2012.

There, with that problem solved; and it only took me 5 pain killers, now I can get back to weaving baskets and raising lamas. Did you know that by shaving one lama’s back, I can earn 3 bucks for the fur? That’s enough money to buy a loaf of bread. Plus, the Cheeseman just dropped off my free slab of government cheese.

“Toasted cheese sandwiches, anyone?”

Dam, life is good..!!

Strange Days, let the freaking Aliens pass the US budget

Strange days- when nothing seems the way it should be.
You journey through the day as if you’re walking in a dream,
all the time wondering when reality is going to kick in.
David Harris
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/strange-days-3/





YES…
I have been gone from the Internet for awhile. I do apologize to the people who may have been worried that something happened to me. It was rude of me to just cut off ties with the blogging world; giving no explanation for a leave. You must understand that I have never been very good with long; publicized “goodbyes.” My style is better suited to fading in, and fading out with no announcement.

No…
I was not thrown in prison for being an evil conservative, and living high off the hog from money obtained from POOR people. (Nor did I push any old ladies in wheelchairs off huge cliffs.) Also, I am not a hack who works for Murdoch, and had to rush to Europe when the s**t hit the fan. Neither was I part of the team that killed Osama bin Laden. (Just wanted to put those puppies to bed.)



I am just a blogging idiot who got tired of fighting the same political battles, (with only few exceptions) with the same people. Don’t get me wrong, I love talking with you folks out there; but I found myself typing the SAME thing- over and over, and it became- WORK. It just was not fun anymore. So I went back to using my computer for what it was originally meant for. (Downloading Pornography.)



However, while I was watching the reality show: The Pork House, (It’s a show about three guys who BBQ pigs. Hey, don’t knock it. Last week they showed us all how to pull pork.) Anyway, they had the nerve to break into the show so that the president could give some kind of speech. You would think that the president would have the decency to wait until 11 pm to give his speech. But no… The president’s speech was about some kind of stupid debt crisis, and the total crash of the US government. (Big freaking deal. The US government has been on the verge of a “big crash” ever since I was old enough to follow politics. What’s new?)



So I was stuck, trapped like a rat. Almost every channel that I tried, President Obama was there. (Well, except for the Travel Channel and the Hitler Channel.) So, I had little choice but to listen. Or, of course, I could have watched people buy a house on the HG channel. (I chose the president’s speech.)



First off…

I have been waiting, for some time, for a NEW Ronald Reagan to appear in politics, and Thank God we have found him. Barack Obama is the new Reagan. Not only is Team Obama pointing out “fun facts” from the Reagan years, President Obama is now quoting Reagan. This is a good thing. It is good because maybe, somehow, either by accident or osmosis, if they are studying Reagan; THEY MIGHT JUST LEARN SOMETHING.



It’s true..

For example, no one ever taught me that you should NEVER buy your wife (and / or girlfriend) a mop for her birthday. I just learned this fact by study and observation. So too, Team Obama may learn from Reagan.

Next, politicians make me want to yak. (Slang for puke- chuck- vomit.) Republican politicians have allowed the debt ceiling to be raised several dozen times in the last few decades, even when the republicans held the White House and Congress, they had no problem raising those debt ceilings. BUT NOW… “Oh, no, NOW we can’t allow the debt ceiling to be raised. If we do, we would give up on all of our principals.” So, it was ok to raise the debt ceiling while a member of the Republican Party is in charge, but now; no way??

I hate to bring “bigotry” into this topic, but what other reason could explain why republicans refuse to raise the debt ceiling for President Obama? Clearly, republicans HATE people from Hawaii.

Shame on the republicans. There is NO WAY that they have the votes in the Senate to pass a balanced budget amendment. Even if they did, President Obama will veto it. So, they are pissing around, acting like they are doing something BIG. (But in reality, they are doing nothing.) Weak minding people will congratulate these republicans for doing nothing. Meanwhile, the stock market could react negatively, and world banks could lower our credit rating, which could cause large- global companies to rethink about investing in America.



Sadly, the democrats are not any better. President Obama, when he was a Senator, voted against raising the debt ceiling while GW Bush was in office. So how can any democrat say; (with a straight face) that it is terrible that republicans are not rushing to sign a debt ceiling bill? “You guys did the same f**king thing. So shut your cry-baby faces, and grow a pair.” And, for the record, stop scaring old people and the military into thinking that they will not get their checks. THEY ARE GOING TO GET THEIR CHECKS.

Both sides have done the same thing. Since the 1950’s, the “out of power party” uses this debt ceiling raise to get goodies for their party. Both Democrats and republicans have done it. And yes, the other party always bitches about it and claims that “the end is near, if we do not act quickly.”

This is what pisses me off the most; using FEAR to scare the general public into thinking that Armageddon is around the corner, if we do not act quickly. Republicans used this tactic during President Bush to get congress to sign the TARP Fund. Democrats liked this idea and decided to scare the crap out of us by saying “the end is near” if we do not pass the stimulus bill. Now democrats are using fear to get the debt ceiling increased. Stop all the scare tactics, do your freaking jobs.

Stop and think of this…

Raising the debt ceiling is nothing more than calculating a budget. You are figuring what money you will need to pay for past debts and interest; plus your future budget this year. Taken down to its basics, raising the debt ceiling is nothing more than passing a budget. With that in mind, the US Congress, (and the President) were able to pass budgets during World War’s 1 and 2. We passed many budgets during the Great Depression. Hell, even President Lincoln found a way to pass budgets during the Civil War, during a time when Lincoln lost all of the tax money that was coming from the South. Somehow, Lincoln still found a way to get budgets passed.

We have found a way to pass budgets during the worst times in American history. Yet this collection of assholes, which we elected into office, cannot seem to do their job. Shame, shame, shame.



We all know what will happen here.

Both sides will pretend that they are “fighting for us little people.” They will sign some half-assed, watered-down deal; and they will rush to the TV microphones to tell us all “what a great job they did.” (Then they will head off for an extended vacation.) Might I suggest a great vacation in the Bermuda Triangle? (Hurricane season, anyone..??)

Just sign a stupid bill, you know you are going to sign a piss-poor bill anyway. Please skip the lecture about “what a great job you did for us little people,” and go on your GREAT Bermuda Triangle vacation.

This will allow democrats to get back to blaming Bush for everything that has gone wrong. (Why did Amy Winehouse die? Because of that F**king George Bush.)



And I, The Angry Republican, can get back to watching stuff that really matters on TV: “Ancient Aliens” on The History Channel.

Strange Days my friends, let the freaking Aliens pass the US budget

Obama- his speech MOVED me

Obama- his speech MOVED me, goodbye conservatives



After listening to President Obama last night, I can no longer be a conservative anymore.

You might be tempted to ask how I can be a conservative for 30 years and just switch overnight..??

Simple...

I was “moved.”

President Obama “moved” me.



We SHOULD help those people who do not, or cannot help themselves..!!

Health Insurance

If a person has cancer, or if they need a heart transplant, or if they need a new gizzard. “We the people” should GET these poor souls a NEW gizzard.

(Well, when I say “we the people”, I do not mean that “you and I” should reach into OUR pockets and pay money for someone’s new gizzard. RICH people will buy this new gizzard for those who cannot afford it.) We will tax the RICH more money and buy new gizzards for everyone.

All of this got me thinking...

We could give people health insurance, but what good is the insurance if you do not have food..??

YOU COULD HAVE A BRAND NEW HEART AND GIZZARD, but without food...

You will die.

We need to get FREE food to everyone who needs it.

LET'S GIVE EVERYONE, EVEN PEOPLE WHO ARE RICH- Free food.

What is more basic to life than food..??

People are dying..!!

How can you be a cheap idiot who provides FREE health insurance, then you send the person off with NO freaking food..??



The government should just go after the BIG- rich people like: Halliburton and the Banks, and tax the hell out of them to get people FREE food.

You might say: “..AR, we already have Food Stamps and Welfare for the poor. Why do we need more FREE stuff..??”

That would be true. But we also have Medicaid and Medicare for the poor to get them the medical help that they need. You are missing the point that is being made by my NEW adopted party: The Democrats.

“We need to get more FREE stuff to people, because Americans are suffering.” People are dying..!! Don’t question it, you heartless bastard, just freaking do it.



I will probably NOT be taken seriously, I MUST prove my worth to the democrat party. I am here to help.

“What good is it to have the government buy a new heart, or gizzard, and stick it into a person; if they are going to eat crappy food AND DESTROY THAT NEW GIZZARD that we just paid for..??”

The responsible thing to do would be to protect our investment of new human organs.

Might I suggest “Food Police.”

Nothing big, maybe just 50 million people hired as the US Food Police. This would create NEW jobs.

We could dress the Food Police in some kind of uniform. Maybe brown shirts with some kind of fancy- official looking patch and badge. NO GUNS..!! The Food Police will carry night sticks and tasers. (Oh, wait. The left HATES tasers. Scrap that.)

The Food Police will check your house and see what kind of foods you are consuming. They will follow you to work and make sure that you are eating GOOD food. Foods like mangos and broccoli. Lots of veggies and fruits. Veggie burgers and tofurkey are fine to eat. (Tofurkey- a fake turkey made of tofu.)



The Food Police will keep you healthy so that “we the people” will not have to buy you a new gizzard, or a liver transplant.

However, what good is having a new heart, or gizzard transplant, and a belly full of food; if you have no place to call home..??

What is more basic than a home? It is the American dream..!!

People are dying..!!

I cannot believe that you sick bastards would give a person FREE health insurance, FREE food; but then toss them out into the street with no home..??

“We the people” should buy everyone a new home. A home that will last a lifetime..!! What better gift could we give?

(NOTE) when I say “we”, I do not mean “me.” I ain’t buying nothing. I mean “those people.” The RICH people should buy all of us new homes.

We should give everyone a FREE car.

What good is having a new heart, a full belly, and a nice new home; if you are stuck in that house and cannot go anywhere..??



OK, I realize that “some people” (those dam conservatives, cheap idiots) might suggest that people use mass transit and that the US government cannot afford to buy everyone a new car.

Brain- dead republicans..!!

Does the bus go anywhere near where YOU want to go? NO..!! Does the bus arrive at places when you need to be there? NO..??

Everyone should have a free car, and you should buy them one.

People are dying..!!



The world’s richest country SHOULD be able to provide it’s people with FOOD. Everyone should have FREE food. You will die without food.

The world’s “superpower” should give every American health insurance.

Every American should have a house.

Every American should have a FREE car.

What good is any of this stuff if you have no clothes..?? You cannot go out and do anything if you have no clothes. The government should buy everyone new clothes.



What good is a new FREE house if you have no appliances..?? You will need to cook the FREE government food? You will need to wash the FREE government clothes..??

If you have FREE government appliances, you will need FREE government electricity and gas to run these things.

WOW...

We are going to need a lot of RICH people in America to pay for all of this FREE government stuff.

What if there isn’t enough rich people in America to pay for all of this FREE stuff..?? Or what if the rich people leave America for lower tax rates somewhere else..??



I hope that the government doesn’t come after me for more tax money. I work hard and I sure as hell can’t afford higher taxes.

I don’t want to leave America..!!

I love this place..!!

But I can barely afford my needs and wants now. How can I pay for the needs and wants of others..??

This ticks me off..!!



I work hard. I have all my life.

I give to charities.

We already have Welfare and Food Stamps for people who are down on their luck.

We have Medicaid and Medicare for the poor people.

What about MY needs..??

Just because I work, I get no FREE stuff. I am punished with higher taxes for working.

But if I get fired from my job, I become eligible for FREE stuff..??

That makes a lot of freaking sense..??

What’s my incentive to get up and go to work every da...

Wait, what just happened here..??

I no longer feel “warm and fuzzy” from President Obama’s speech..??

I now feel angry.

I feel like an Angry Republican.

(So, that is how it all happened, all those years ago.)

Now I remember...

In the 1970's, when I was a liberal; I thought it would be GREAT to give people FREE stuff. Because, that would be the nice thing to do.

However, logic asks: when do you stop giving people FREE stuff?

You are going to give people free Health Insurance, but you are NOT going to give them free FOOD..?? What kind of sick human being are you..??

If you give people FREE food and FREE health insurance, wouldn’t you also want to give them a place to live? You cold bastard..!!

Where does it end..??



When does liberalism and progressive idealism end..??

When all of the RICH people, and all of the companies that provide JOBS, leaves America and there is no one left to pay for the FREE government services.

That is when it ends.

“..The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money..” Margaret Thatcher





Coming this weekend



Thanks for reading


The Angry Republic

Keith Olbermann Fired? Must be a conspiracy

As a writer, I try very hard to “walk a mile in another man’s shoes.” It saves wear and tear on my shoes, and they last much longer.

(See, what I did there? You thought I was going to talk about integrity. My ability to see both sides of a story. Instead, I talked about how cheap I am.)

None the less, while I am wearing your shoes, (to save wearing out my shoes) I do catch a glimpse of what it must be like; TO BE YOU.



It’s gotta be tough to be a progressive right now. After all, it was those evil conservatives and their hate speech who caused that Arizona kid to kill people. AND WHICH TV HOST GETS FIRED?

Glenn Beck….No.


Rush Limbaugh…No.

Keith Olbermann…

Keith Olbermann gets fired..??

What the hell is going on in this crazy world? Those Neo-Cons are taking over, everywhere. This has got to have something to do with Comcast merging with NBC Universal. I bet you Comcast is in bed with those conservative Neo-con assholes. This is a conspiracy.

(OK, let me put my shoes back on, your shoes do not fit- RIGHT.)

If a progressive would have read my editorial that was published in November, 2010; when Olbermann was suspended, this new event wouldn’t be a shock to you.

In that editorial, I explain exactly why liberals should look for a new TV network to call home, and I talk about a possible network they could seek out.



Today, I wanted to talk about “WHY” Keith Olbermann was fired (or he quit, was let go, or mutual termination of a 4 year contract, etc. However they want to describe it.)



Many liberals might be tempted to blame the recent deal for Comcast to merge with NBC Universal; which operates MSNBC and CNBC.

To my knowledge, Comcast is neither a Right- nor Left leaning company. In my humble opinion, Comcast entered into this deal to pick up Universal. Think about all the Hollywood movies that have been made, which fall under the Universal banner. If you own an “On Demand” movie service, it might be nice to have a hand in Universal. And Comcast was probably interested in NBC, which could be a diamond in the rough. CNBC and MSNBC were just part of the package, and Comcast probably has no immediate plans for each.



How can I say this, why am I so sure that Comcast isn’t a Right-wing outfit, and why would you believe me?

Simple…

Look at the MSNBC lineup, after Keith Olbermann is gone:

5pm- Chris Matthews- (Same as it ever was)
If Comcast were a conservative outfit, you would see at least one conservative face in that crowd. Hell, with the addition of the “Young Turks”, I believe MSNBC is now leaning even MORE Left.

6pm- Cenk Uygur of the Web show "The Young Turks" will now take over this timeslot. Cenk is so progressive that he makes some liberals cringe.

7pm- Repeat of Chris Matthews (I think?)

8pm- Lawrence O’Donnell will take over the Keith Olbermann spot. In my opinion, O’Donnell is much more partisan than Olbermann ever was. He even called himself a socialist.

9pm- Rachel Maddow

10pm- Ed Shultz

No, this has nothing to do with the politics of Comcast. It has everything to do with the routing out of “troublesome” people.

Jeff Zucker, the “head cheese” of programming at NBC and MSNBC was also, along with Olbermann, let go from his duties. Zucker was behind the Conan O’Brian / Jay Leno mess which took place last year. Critics in the business have been very objective towards Zucker’s leadership, and many site Zucker as the reason for low rating at NBC’s networks.

Which leads us to why Keith Olbermann was fired (or had a mutual parting of ways with MSNBC.)



It is no secret that Olbermann fights with his bosses. He fought with management at ESPN, which caused his departure at that network. Keith walked out on his first job at MSNBC, and has had problems with MSNBC President- Phil Griffin, over the past few years.

Some companies and bosses, like GE and Jeff Zucker, are willing to tolerate a demanding individual, but Comcast isn’t willing to do this. They weeded out the two people that they felt that they would have problems with. (Zucker and Olbermann.)

Some people, like the web site- The Wrap (dotcom) believes Olbermann left MSNBC on his own accord to start his own web site; similar to The Huffington Post. If this were true, surely Keith Olbermann could have run a web site while still doing his TV show. Glenn Beck runs two web sites (Glenn Beck dotcom, and The Blaze) Beck does a 3 hour radio show, and a 1 hour TV show everyday, plus personal appearances.



Keith Olbermann isn’t a dumb guy, he should have been able to chew gum and walk at the same time? This, to me, is a cover story to explain why Olbermann left MSNBC, which helps soften his ego. But clearly, Olbermann saw the writing on the wall, and knew his time was limited.

Jeff Bercovici, a blogger at Forbes, completely disagrees with me. Jeff believes that Comcast is a conservative company, and Jeff lists a connection between Comcast and News Corp / Fox News. Jeff believes that Olbermann was fired solely because Comcast is a conservative outfit.

If this were true Jeff, why would Comcast keep Maddow? Or O’Donnell? Or add a show for The Young Turks? Wouldn’t Comcast stick at least ONE conservative host into MSNBC’s lineup?

John Gibson would LOVE to have a TV show again. Tucker Carlson is searching for a primetime show. There has to be at least two dozen conservative broadcasters who would jump at the chance to have a conservative show on MSNBC. If Comcast were a conservative company, who wanted to drastically change MSNBC, they would have waited until they had a few conservative shows developed, then they would have dropped two of the MSNBC liberal shows and added their conservative shows.



No, in my opinion; Comcast weeded out two people that they figured they would have problems with. (Keith and Zucker.) I believe that they have no immediate plans for MSNBC and will run it with the schedule listed above (for a while.) They are probably most interested in the Hollywood movies listed under Universal and the NBC network.

As far as a “link” between News Corp / Fox News and Comcast...

Sure, there is a link. Comcast is, after all; a cable TV provider, at its core. Comcast HAS to deal with News Corp because Murdoch operates, at least, 4 TV networks: Fox, Fox News, Fox business, FX. Comcast has a link between ABC Disney. Comcast has had a “link” and dealings with Ted Turner (who owns or used to own) TBS, Turner classic movies, CNN, Headline news, etc.

Being in the cable TV business; you are going to have “links” and ties with all of the networks that your cable outfit displays. To site just one “link” (Fox News) is dishonest. And to site ONE GUY who was fired from Comcast, who now claims that he was fired because Fox wanted him fired, because he spoke out about Bill O’Reilly; is just plain silly. My God, everyone at MSNBC would be fired if that were true. They all have spoken out about O’Reilly.

Keith Olbermann was fired (or given a “heads-up” that he should leave) because Comcast did not want to deal with his ugly business persona. It had nothing to do with Keith’s politics because Comcast is keeping all the other liberal hosts.



Will Comcast keep MSNBC a liberal network, over the long haul..??

I can’t say for sure. I believe Comcast will go after CNN in ratings. In the future, Comcast may drop any show that isn’t doing well against CNN, during a particular timeslot.



If I am right, and my first editorial on this subject is spot-on, then liberals need to find a new TV home. (And I list a few new TV homes at that editorial.)

If I am wrong, and Comcast is an evil conservative company bent on destroying the liberal paradise called: MSNBC; then progressives will need to find a new home.



Either way, MSNBC might not be a good place for progressives to call: HOME.

Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republic